Minister of women Maite Nkoana-Mashabane says alcohol is a key cause of gender-based violence.
Image: Moeletsi Mabe/The Times
Minister of women, youth and persons with disabilities Maite Nkoana-Mashabane on Tuesday urged liquor traders to champion responsible drinking to prevent a total shutdown of booze sales.

Nkoana-Mashabane told MPs during a debate on gender-based violence in the National Assembly that the role played by alcohol in gender violence could force the government to reconsider lifting the ban on alcohol sales.

“Illegal liquor outlets have been closed – 310 of them. But even the legal ones need to take responsibility,” she said.

“Before we have a total shutdown on liquor outlets, can they also join in campaigning that there is drinking that is responsible and that liquor should not become a menace in our society?”

Nkoana-Mashabane said in June alone, at least 30 women had been “slaughtered” in their homes.This June, in the middle of a pandemic that is marauding the entire globe, South African women felt triply short-changed again by poverty, unemployment and by being women. The pandemic found them already being slaughtered like sheep in their own homes,” she said.

“The zeal we want to give to fighting Covid-19, may we – all of us, men and women, in particular the progressive men – make sure that we say kwanele, enough is enough.

“Police, and everybody, it should be the last time we sit in this parliament and hear of how raped women must go walk protecting the semen of her molester between her legs until the following day.”She said the government was making progress in its efforts to combat gender-based violence but the onus was in part also on women to walk away.

“Minister [of public enterprises and infrastructure Patricia] de Lille spoke of shelters that they are trying to support us with – but if these mothers who love and decorate their homes and bring up their children refuse to get out and save their skins and try and protect those homes, they will be killed.“They are not raping and killing themselves, they are not the perpetrators, but they must still leave and go to a shelter.

“In the past it used to be women who don’t have it all [who were most vulnerable], but even women who are educated, who have good jobs, it [abuse] starts even with those who work for government. This thing is no longer a joke – it must end now, with the support of government and society.”

Nkoana-Mashabane conceded that much-needed forensic kits were not readily available at all police stations.

“Evidence collection kits are now available in many of the police stations where they were not before. I agree, I cannot attest that they are in all police stations but we have been working with minister [of police Bheki] Cele in the committee which the president has formed to make things better,” she said.

“But the last time I had a conversation with him in tears he was saying now he is being asked to put a policeman next to every bedroom so I think we need to look at that.”

A spokesperson for the Reformed Church in Carletonville on the West Rand said they were saddened that pastor Henk Calitz did not reach out for help.
Image: Supplied
Congregants are heartbroken by the death of a pastor who hanged himself at a church in Gauteng.

Henk Calitz, 40, from the Reformed Church in Carletonville on the West Rand, was known as a sociable, caring member of the community. He had been helping his community through the devastation caused by the coronavirus pandemic.

The father of five took his life last Friday.

Wouter van Wyk, spokesperson for the church, said his body was found in the church hall by a member of the congregation.

“It was a really big shock. He has been a steady minister and did great work. He never reached out to the church for support, which is a pity. There has never been a single complaint that could have warned us.

“He was a nice guy, a good hockey player. He also got involved in coaching hockey, an outgoing and sociable person. He was involved in charity work,” said Van Wyk.The mining industry was hit hard, and there are a lot of social issues stemming from that. I don’t think anyone will really ever know what was going on in his head, but we know he was not happy with the way things were.

“Covid-19 is a life-threatening disease that puts tension on all of us. All of us are to some extent locked up in our small worlds, when one’s problems become too big to carry alone, it gets hard. Mental health problems are rising and such things are expected,” said Van Wyk.

Church elder David Nel said the family was not comfortable speaking about the tragedy.

“The congregants are heartbroken and the emotions are still raw. He was loved by the community, he was very friendly, loving and helpful and kind,” said Nel.A memorial service for Calitz will be held on Tuesday morning with a limit of 50 people allowed to attend.

In April, Calitz posted on Facebook about an emotional encounter that he had with policemen and women who pulled him over at a roadblock during the national lockdown.

He said he was driving to Parys with a permit and face mask when he was stopped.

The captain asked to see his permit and the reason for his travel, then asked him to pull off to the side of the road.

He was worried he could be arrested.

“But the cop says – will you please pray for us, if it won’t offend you?”

He prayed for them, and they all shook his hand afterwards. He drove on with a lump in his throat, he wrote.

In a separate incident two weeks ago, a dog walker from Cape Town hanged himself and took his own life outside the home of Rev Natalie Angela Barnard from St Andrew’s Presbyterian Church. His death, in Sea Point, not only brought the mental health fallout of Covid-19 to the fore, but also the plight of many foreigners trying to eke out an existence in SA.

Congolese national Calvin Kevin Ilungu Inkongolo was known in the community for earning a living as a gifted dog walker.

Nomihlali Mkayi died of illness related to Covid-19 in May. Her family members do not how or where she contracted the coronavirus.
Image: Supplied
The family of Nomihlali Mkayi, who died on May 11 in the Northern Cape shortly after arriving from her home in the Eastern Cape, is still reeling after her death.

The 61-year-old teacher had visited the Eastern Cape during the lockdown. The family is not sure how and where she contracted the coronavirus. The mother of five was a teacher in the Northern Cape.

Her sister, Nomasummer Mcuba, described Mkayi as a loving mother and grandmother, a responsible, humble sister to her sibling, and a kind person who was always ready to help everyone, not just her family members.

The family said the loss was devastating not only for them and her children, but for everyone she knew because her generosity touched every life with which she came into contact.

Mcuba said Mkayi was looking forward to retirement and spending more time with her loved ones, especially her 18-month-old grandchild.

The family said they were devastated and struggling to come to terms with their loss as they still had no answers about how she had contracted the virus.

The family was informed that Mkayi died of illness related to Covid-19 four days after she died.

Mkayi was laid to rest in the Eastern Cape, but her Johannesburg-based sister and relatives could not attend. Mcuba said this w

Zoleka Mandela is ready to conquer once more.
Image: Instagram/Zoleka Mandela
Zoleka Mandela is ready to “start over” and recently moved into a new home this week with her kids.

The author and motivational speaker announced in March that she and her partner had split, saying it had taken her two years to leave a relationship, which she claims had eroded her self-esteem, independence, and her mental and emotional state.

Now that the nationwide lockdown has eased a little, people are able to move houses, and Zoleka took to Instagram to show off her new place.

She shared a quote from Richard Branson, reading: “Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.”

She said that it would be easier to give up, but she was determined to not allow failure to hold her back.

“Here’s to having strength to start over again, even at the age of 40. Here’s to having courage not to allow failure to hold me back, even when it’s always easier to give up!

“Here’s to a place, I can finally call my own!” she wrote.In her post announcing their split, Zoleka admitted that walking away from the relationship felt like it was “unhinging” her whole life, but it was necessary for self-discovery and inner peace.

“Leaving someone you once loved, for eight long years feels like it completely unhinges your entire life until you realise that it’s sparked self discovery, inner peace and has set you on a path of self love.”

Ayanda Borotho’s daughter has recounted her experience with gender-based violence.
Image: Ayanda Borotho’s Instagram
Isibaya actress Ayanda Borotho and her daughter, Ayaphiwa Ngubane, have once again cast the spotlight on gender-based violence, recounting the harassment they have received at the hands of men.

Speaking in the latest episode of their Conversations With Our Daughters series, the pair said they had grown up being “catcalled” daily that they thought it was normal behaviour.

Ayaphiwa is set to start varsity next year and admitted that she was more concerned about her safety on campus than her results. She also recounted the time she ate grass to pretend she was mentally ill, to avoid the advances of a man.

“I will never forget. I was walking back to my grans house and this guy had followed me there and back, basically demanding my name and number … I didn’t feel safe. There was a veld in front of me with straw grass.

“So, I remember going there and eating. I took a big nice chunk and ate it, and acted crazy so this guy would go away. That is what ended up happening, he left me alone.”

She said it was sad that women had to pretend to be mentally ill or change their behaviour around others, just to protect themselves.They encouraged women to report men, including your partner, if they forced themselves on you.

Ayanda has spoken before on “toxic” relationships and said that when you live in the “darkness” it soon starts to look like light.

“When you live in toxicity for too long, even darkness looks like light. When you surround yourself with mediocrity for too long, even your greatness will start to look average.”