I wish women could vet men, undertaker tells mourners at Sibongiseni Gabada’s funeral

Mavis Gabada at the funeral of her granddaughter, Sibongiseni, on June 17 2020.

Mavis Gabada at the funeral of her granddaughter, Sibongiseni, on June 17 2020.
Image: Esa Alexander
The injuries to Sibongiseni Gabada’s body left the undertaker traumatised.

Gabada, 36, was buried in Cape Town on Wednesday. Her body was found stuffed in a sports bag outside a shack on May 29 after she had been missing for two weeks.

Sithembele Klaas, whom Gabada’s family described as her boyfriend, has been charged with her murder. He is set to apply for bail in the Khayelitsha magistrate’s court.

Speaking at the funeral, undertaker Nelly Tom urged young women to be “careful of who you are dating”. She said Gabada’s body had been “senselessly violated” and that she wished there were “means to vet men before dating them”.

Tom said: “We received the body from the Tygerberg (Hospital) forensic unit on Monday and things were bad. I cannot over-emphasise it.Undertaker Nelly Tom warned young women at Sibongiseni Gabada's funeral on June 17 2020 to be careful about who they date.“I know her family from church and as a parent, as well, this death touched me. Umzimba wakhe ubumanxebanxeba (her body was deeply scarred). Only God knows who did that to her and why. But my advice to young women is they must know who they are dating, what they do and the places they frequent.

“The scourge of femicide is really bad, our children are dying. In 2005, my sister was raped and killed in Ngqamakhwe, in the Eastern Cape. Her child was one month old at the time and I had to raise her. This has hit me again, in Cape Town this time. This has touched me personally. When I saw Sibongiseni’s body, I was reminded of my own tragedy.”

Though the community did not come out in numbers for the funeral, there were way more than the lockdown limit of 50 mourners and protesters. Women sang an adapted version of the struggle song “Senzeni na?”, adding the words, “amadoda zizinja” (men are dogs).Gabada’s sister, Nomathamsanqa, said it would take her family a while to come terms with the loss. She said only justice could speed the healing process.

“Sibongiseni was very kind and accommodated everyone,” said Nomathamsanqa. “Her boyfriend has been arrested in connection with her death.

“We don’t know how they met but her friends know him and her body was found next to the boyfriend’s shack. It was stuffed inside a sports bag and covered with pieces of wood and trash. It could be that the perpetrator intended to move the body and discard it elsewhere at a later stage.”A mourner at Sibongiseni Gabada's funeral on June 17 2020.