“I am not okay…” Former Durban Gen actor Nyaniso Dzedze speaks on fighting his demons.

He played leading roles on Unmarried, Feminine Lotus, Ashes to Ashes, and Hear Me Move to name a few. Actor Nyaniso Dzedze has always been vocal about his challenges and he recently opened up about battling with past issues and his mental health.30 years old. The realisation came after a conversation with his wife. “We used to be intimate at an average of about three times a day,’ he said. “Now it is less and less with every month. We’re going to end up intimate once every two months. I refuse to have that relationship.’ He said he was comfortable expressing himself in a society that silences men. “Men allow themselves to cry and release emotions they wouldn’t in any other space or time during intimacy,’ he said. “So what men have naturally done is place every opportunity to express excitement‚ sadness‚ depression‚ stress‚ grief‚ a rough day through intimacy. Is it truly a wonder why we sexualise everything all the time? Is it such a wonder why we want to be intimate all the time? Nope. Men don’t just like it we depend on it. We have come to need it‚ almost as integral as food.”

DEALING WITH SELF DOUBT

A few months later, he also opened up about his insecurities and self-doubts as an actor. “I ask myself why should I get paid to do what I do. Why should people do these offerings I have?” he said. “I fight myself enough already, I challenge myself, put my face in the dirt, and raise myself from the ashes daily.” He expressed how imposter syndrome might be the issue and he often asks himself these questions.

TACKLING PERSONAL ISSUES


 

 

 

He has opened up about dealing with past trauma. “I am not okay… I know I am not the only one that isnot okay,’ he said. Without going into too much detail, he said he has been confronting the things that bother him. He also shared how this time of the year comes with dealing with family issues. “I have been facing a lot of emotional things for the past year and I quickly began to believe that God is doing something. He is bringing current situations to deal with things that have hurt me from the past.’ He said he quickly understood that it has nothing to do with the current but the past and what he has boxed away. “Last night I was very upset with my wife and later on I came to talk to her and she reminded me that my reaction to her was fuelled by my abandonment issues. My biggest abandoned wound is my father. I am not angry at my father that he left.’ He emphasised that he is not seeking attention but wants others going through the same thing to relate. “God is taking us through a transformative period. Don’t quit once they reach breaking point. God wants us to heal. He doesn’t want us to break further.’ He says he has had many things that have made him want to quit his career, marriage and fatherhood and made him want to die. “I witnessed these feelings inside of me. I did not succumb. I am still acting, still married, still a father, and still alive. He advises people to be gentle on themselves this festive season as the suicide rate tends to peak. “The festive season tends to pull out our greatest wounds and greatest hurts.’