Dloz’lami is a show on Moja Love hosted by Thembi Nyathi. Her job is to help people who are usually dealing with stagnancy in their lives. She speaks to their ancestors on their behalf and this week she had quite a bit to say. A struggling woman wrote to the show, but her ancestors only had one question.

Why did she even get married in the first place?

Marcia wrote to the show because she was suffering. She is unemployed. The same for her husband and with kids to raise it hasn’t been easy for her to get by. Her family was initially closed off to her but as time wore on, it was clear that she had got married despite knowing the instructions her late grandfather had laid out for her.

 

 

 

 

This brought Sis Thembi onto a very important lesson here for women. Marriage is not an achievement. This is something I’ve believed for a long time myself, but hearing someone wise say it was affirming. She was clarifying that marriage doesn’t take the place of actual achievements in life, like education for example.

People loved this manner of explaining marriage and took to Twitter to share.

One user wrote, “”Achieve Whatever You Wanna Achieve Before You Commit To Someone, Marriage Is Not An Achievement…” If You Don’t Get It, Forget About It #Dlozlami”

While another user wrote, “So basically bathi (They’re saying) you married a broke man on your own. Thina asingeni ndawo(That is not our concern). 😭 Now I get why some women flourish after getting a divorce. #Dlozlami”

A final user wrote, “Marriage is not a goal, establish yourself before you start committing yourself. Don’t be like Marcia. #Dlozlami”

It was clear what the message was here and I hope women specifically were listening. It is hard to backtrack from a bad choice but a bad marriage is worse. Marcia is struggling now and if she hadn’t prioritized marriage, her life might have been different.