The groom invites his in-laws to come to his home so that they will discuss the  marriage ceremony date (Ukubona izinkomo). The groom pays all the cows to the bride’s family and then they set a date which is best for both sides. After they agreed on a date the bride’s family will go back with the cows and start the wedding preparation. So because we live in cities and we are a bit urbanized, these preparations don’t exactly happen in this order. I mean we can’t bring cows to joburg can we, lol but I’m sure you get the point. Traditional weddings are usually done in villages or where the parents stay but always where most suitable.